How dads make friends.

It isn't you. Work, then kids, then work again, on whatever schedule the job sets. The friends from before drift off to their own kids and their own suburbs, and the easy ways men used to make friends, like a team, a dorm or a job where you see the same guys every day, mostly disappear.

The numbers back this up. In a May 2021 survey, the Survey Center on American Life found that 15% of men said they had no close friends, up from 3% in 1990, and the share of men with six or more close friends fell from 55% to 27%. In 2023 the US Surgeon General's advisory Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation named loneliness and social isolation as a public health concern.

The good news is that the problem is mostly time and logistics, not interest. Most dads would like a couple more friends. They just need a reason to see the same guys more than once.

You already spend hours a week next to other dads: the soccer sideline, swim lessons, the birthday party, the playground on a Saturday. The dad standing on his own with a coffee is usually hoping someone says something too.

Kids make it easy. They give you something to talk about and something to do with your hands, and nobody has to call it a hangout.

One good conversation doesn't make a friend. Seeing him again does. The trick is to turn a good morning into a standing plan, so nobody has to organize it from scratch every time.

• Same place, same time. The first Saturday of the month at the park, or Tuesday coffee before work.
• Say it out loud. "Same time next month?" is the most useful sentence in this guide.
• Keep it short. A couple of hours, then home. Easy plans are the ones that keep happening.

"We should hang out sometime" almost never happens. "You fish? I'm going out early Thursday, want to come?" usually does. A specific thing, a specific day and an easy yes or no.

It's the same idea behind Dadurday's waves: instead of a cold "hey", you wave at one line on a dad's profile, like his idea of a good day off, and if he waves back the chat starts with that line.

Thirty dads in a brewery is a networking event. Three dads and five kids at a splash pad is a morning. Small groups let everyone actually talk, and nobody has to work the room.

If you host, pick somewhere public and easy with kids, give it a start and an end, and don't worry if only one dad shows. That's still a good morning.

Most dad plans assume Saturday morning. If your days off are a Tuesday and a Wednesday, say so early. There are more weekday dads than you'd think: nurses, firefighters, plant operators, anyone on a rotation, and plenty of dads who work from home and can take a long lunch.

That's why Dadurday doesn't assume Saturday. You set when you're usually off, including "It changes week to week", and a Tuesday-morning hangout is as easy to post as a weekend one. Every day off is a Dadurday.

An app won't make friends for you, but it can solve the hard part: finding dads nearby, at the same stage, who are free when you are. Most friend apps aren't built for dads, and Peanut is built mainly for moms. We compared the options honestly in apps to meet other dads.

Around Clear Lake, League City and Webster, Texas, that's what Dadurday is for. See Clear Lake, League City or Webster, Kemah and Seabrook.

Wanting a few more friends is normal. If the loneliness feels heavy, or it's been weeks of feeling low, talk to your doctor or someone you trust. If you're in crisis, call or text 988, the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, any time.